Tuesday, November 05, 2013


Ok, look at that face.  Look at the smile. Isn't that the way we want to see children? Don't we want them to be happy, joyful, silly, funny, innocent, trusting, free from issues and stress that the world will throw at us anyway?
As adults don't we want kids to be kids, having smiles like Riley's above rather than unhappy, sad faces?
I'll take a stab here that MOST responsible, mature adults do. That unless you have something lacking in your personality or nature you don't wish to cause intentional harm or sadness to a child. Yes, sometimes things that adults do, cause children to be sad, worried, upset or start to cry. I would guess that in at least 90% of the cases (maybe I'm reaching here) the adult did not set out to intentionally cause distress to the child.
Recently, well today, as a matter of fact, I ended up on Facebook, despite my quest NOT to go there again, to see someones quilt. While scrolling down to look for it I found a Youtube video posted that the postee thought "was cute".
The adult in the video, holding the camera was talking to a little girl about 8 perhaps? I don't know the relationship between the person holding the camera or the little girl but the gist of the conversation went, "I ate all your Halloween candy."
The little girl, asked if the person had eaten her gummy bears and the response was "yes, all of your candy".  This was repeated after two more questions from the little girl about special candy that she obviously really liked.
Then the obviously happened.  The little girl slid off the couch, her head wrapped in her coat, sobbing.
Ok, putting aside the value of having a holiday that fills buckets with candy for children to eat what that person did, holding that camera was darn near close to BULLYING.
I realize I'm getting older and less tolerant of stupid behavior.  Especially any behavior that hurts children emotionally or physically.
And, yes it was just about candy I can hear some argue but that child obviously trusts that adult. That child was trying with her questions to see if there was any saving of the situation. Was there any chance that the adult had left a tiny portion of that candy for her. And, the repeated answer from that adult was no. That adult ENJOYED saying that to that child.
I have to say in some ways I find that behavior, by the adult shocking and in other ways, after observing some things that I have seen in stores and such, not that shocking. Is that possible? sigh
Perhaps, it's not really that I find that behavior so shocking but that the people viewing that video, "LIKED IT".
Oh, it's so funny to make a CHILD cry, isn't it?
Makes you feel all powerful doesn't it?
Thought you were being so funny, weren't you?
Posted it on Facebook and Youtube because you thought it was soooooooooo funny."
Sounds like a form of bullying to me.
I look at Riley's big smile up there in the picture and I love to see it.  I can go through an entire day and not see ONE PERSON SMILE. Our baggage, our issues, our problems, our lives seem to weight so heavily on our shoulders that we can't even find the energy or interest to initiate a smile let alone return one.
When is the last time you looked into the eyes of an adult that was laughing and or smiling and saw their eyes just sparkling, exploding with 100 watts of positive energy?  If you can say recently then consider yourself very lucky indeed.
Today, my husband told me that he loves to hear me laugh.  Not that I have a great laugh but because I think when I laugh my eyes light up.
We will often comment to one another that someone we see, in an airport or store, "they have a great smile, don't they?"
I can't imagine being the kind of person that would think or spend energy in the pursuit of making somebody unhappy. I know, I know, there are MEAN people out there.
I don't want to wish Mean people harm or a terrible life.  I suspect that they have already experienced it and for them this "feels" normal.
I don't want to get into a debate with them about their actions. They think they are being funny and probably would never truly understand another point of view.
I just hope that whoever reads this post makes sure that THEY aren't displaying this kind of adult behavior. And, that if they aren't an adult yet if someone acts like that to them that they either tell another adult they trust or tell the offending adult that what they are doing is just wrong and walk away.
Unfortunately, the little girl, in the video was a trusting little girl. She believed that adult. When she found out it was "all just a joke, just kidding" she learned that, "ok, that must be ok behavior because so and so did it".
Sweetie, it's NOT OK.
IT WAS WRONG and the person doing it


  1. I love your soap box! :) I totally agree. My husband says he loves my laugh too.

  2. Oh btw, love Riley's smile in that photo! :)

  3. There were many jerks that did this unfortunately and the biggest one of them all is a late night show host named Jimmie Kimmel who invited parents in his viewing audience to act out these scenes with their children and video tape the reactions. I caught this on the local early morning news in my area this week and it made my heart cry.