TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN:
I respectfully submit this entry, into the log, my log for this day, like all the other days before and to come.
I would like to bring it to your attention, ONCE AGAIN, that the elevators are not working.
I have repeatedly mentioned this fact in memos, phone messages, teletypes and sticky notes ( which I deplore but seem to be your favorite form of communication) to all of you gentlemen.
For those of you lucky enough to work on the first floor of the ZETTI HOMELAND HISTORICAL SOCIETY, I say bully for you. The rest of us require the elevators to get to our respective floors. Without working elevators it requires us to HIKE down narrow concrete steps to our charming offices.
Yes, I did receive the memo, from your office, mentioning the said elevators would be shut down to encourage a more healthy work force. You won't believe the thoughts and words that came to my mind and mouth when I read that one.
My day, dear sirs, involves lugging dirty, dusty boxes from one end of a storage hall, to my small, cramped, office and checking the manifest list to the aged copy of my inventory log.
I have upper arms of steel.
If we need to arm wrestle this subject, for the rights to turn those elevators back on, then so be it. Bring your wimpy, pale arms down here to the SUB BASEMENT LEVEL THREE, (yes, that's where I am located) and we'll do it,
Oh, and we'll be sure to have this contest right after you arrive so be sure to bring your water with you and do stop at the bathroom on the FIRST LEVEL because there doesn't seem to be on on this level. Or LEVEL TWO or LEVEL ONE of the Sub Basement levels.
And, do watch those narrow concrete steps, the pitch of them could easily cause a spill and an owie. Don't forget your power bars.
At the bottom of your most recent memo you also asked if I have had any contact with Sir Z'Corkey.
The last postcard I received was in March of the Year of the Fox. I have included a copy of the postcard with this memo. It did not say where he was although from the type of fish on the postcard I would suspect that it might be a very small Asteroid, B-613. He has a fondness for this asteroid since he discovered it after the Turkish astronomer discovered B-612 in 1909.
If I am not mistaken he named it Dugukirla, after a pet snake he once had.
In a post scrip he mentioned that he was sending a box that would be slightly damp.
Unfortunately, I have yet to receive the box, unless Otto, in the mailroom has put it aside, as he has be known to do and read girlie magazines, instead of delivering the mail.
Be sure to let me know if the arm wrestling event is on, I have a lovely new outfit that would compliment my winning the contest. I look forward to meeting you gentlemen.
Volunteer Z'bea, the UNPAID keeper of Sir Zetti Corkey's Life and Times, in this time period and before and the future of THIS WORLD and OTHER'S and..........well...........sometimes......it's just to exhausting to go on and on about this.
LEVEL THREE SUB BASEMENT, back room, third door on the right. Bring chocolate, it is always appreciated.