Friday, January 18, 2013

Note to my grandchildren.

This arrived in my email the other morning. It was also posted on FB so it's making the rounds and that's a GOOD thing.
This is something that almost everybody should make a copy of and post where they will see it every single day.

And, on another topic I heard something yesterday that I found rather disturbing. What's disturbing about it is that I've heard it recently from another friend.

I was visiting my favorite quilt shop and asked my friend that works there how she enjoyed being a new grandmother.  I knew her son had married and that they had been expecting a baby in the fall. My friend looked at me and her eyes started to well up.
She told me that her DIL had told her husband to tell her that she didn't want anything homemade for a gift.
If you are a regular reader you will remember that I told you that one of the artists in my art group had told me a similar thing about the sister of her DIL and no these women are not the one and same or related.

All I could offer was the same advice I gave my artist friend. Make what you want, keep it at your house and give it to the child when THEY ARE OLD ENOUGH to value it and keep it. Use it when they come to visit you.

Not a lot of comfort more on the practical side of advice. And, not what is running through my head when I am back in my car driving home.

What's going on?  Is there something out there on the Internet that is advising young women to be RUDE. "Be true to yourself and screw everybody else and their feelings?" Are they afraid of something with a made with love, homemade gift? Bugs? Not fire proof? Butt ugly? What?

Did some women of this younger generation NOT have mothers that taught them manners? I mean I'm trying to understand where their collective heads are. I have a good idea but I would really love to understand this behavior.

Zeus says that they are jealous.  They know that the MIL's are talented, that they will make something wonderful and since they feel they can't compete they don't want it in their lives constantly reminding them of their lack of talent.

It also interests me that both women and btw these women aren't in their early 20s, we're talking about late 20s early 30s, asked their husbands to deliver the messages.

I think that says volumes. 

And, to think that these men, these SON'S have the audacity to deliver to their mother's that message.

I think that says volumes, too.

And, it makes me very sad. Very, very sad.

So, listen up my granddaughter's and grandson's, since I write this blog for family and friends you need to remember these words from YOUR GRAMMYBEA...........

If someone gives you a gift, you take it with a smile on your face. I don't give a rip how you feel about the person or the gift. You SMILE, you say THANK YOU and you then take the gift home. 

You don't hurt their feelings by expressing how you don't need it, don't like the color, don't have room for it, don't whatever it is that is running through your head. YOU TAKE IT GRACIOUSLY.

Then you take it home and put it away if it offends you. Unless you live on a boat and have so little space you can't store it you don't like it you put it in a closet or drawer. 

If it was for you in five years you can decide if you want to re-gift it or donate it. 
If it was for your child you don't get to make any decision at all.  That's not yours.  You put it away carefully for your child, if you decide you can't actually let them use it.

AND, this is the really important thing. After you have taken this gift home you sit your fannies down and WRITE A THANK YOU NOTE
I don't care if you don't have note cards, you have paper. You write a thank you note for the TIME, ENERGY, COST and LOVE that went into that gift.

This is for all gifts but especially something that someone has handcrafted especially for you or your children.

Emails don't cut it, texting, nope, not even saying thank you at the time is enough. Not for the time that went into that gift. Unless it was a mud pie that they threw together in the back yard while you were taking off your coat, then, hey, an email will do.

Another friend recently told me that she had made a wedding quilt, no written thank you and the verbal thank you came at a family gathering as an after thought.
She also made her son a graduation quilt when he received his PhD. Nothing yet from him and that was back in June of 2012.
And, because she's the kind of person she is she made a quilt for his advisor, a professor that had spent a lot of time with her son helping him get that PhD. And, hasn't heard a thing from him, at all.

Yes, I know this says a lot about the people in her life. If I didn't hear about this kind of behavior from other people, I would just shake my head and think to myself that she is surrounded by mannerless people

I don't when being polite and having manners became a negative thing. Yes, sometimes life is disappointing and you receive a gift that doesn't match your tastes, the colors in your life, your style and you wish that the person "knew" you better or had asked you more questions. 

Suck it up kiddo.

Those two women that chose to tell their husbands to do their "dirty work" are cowards, they are rude, jealous women. They have intentionally created disharmony where none might have existed. They lacked manners. 

I don't understand why it's so hard to write a thank you note. I bet I could time you and see that it took you all of 15 minutes tops. 
Awwww, you don't know what to say?
You're kidding me, right?

Dear _____________
Thank you so much for the beautiful ____________.
I know how much time that took for you to make and I appreciate it so much. 
The ______ (color) the (texture) the (whatever) is gorgeous. When ever we use this, we will think of you.
Thank you again.
With LOVE,
Your ________________ granddaughter, grandson, daughter-in-law, son-in law, niece or nephew, you fill it in.

Gee, that took me less than five minutes. 
Don't have an envelope? Go to the post office, you'll find envelopes and stamps there. NO EXCUSES.

MIND YOUR MANNERS it says a lot about who you really are.


"Life is like a wild tiger. You can either lie down and let it lay its its paw on your head- or sit on its back and ride it."
Ride The Wild Tiger


  1. Well said Bea. I could tell you a story about a particular hurt I felt after a curt text message of 'thanks' in response to a very special gift on a very special occasion. I cannot account for it but evidently the person forgetting their manner is unaware of the hurt they cause.

  2. I am not sure what is going on....a special handmade gift...made with love and loving hands is so much more precious to behold. I am afraid there are mothers to be who are in for a real eye opener. The hurt goes on for a very long time....I wish you peace. Mary Helen Fernandez Stewart

  3. Very nice little note that you put up there. Sometimes, it's the littlest and most thoughtful gifts that we cherish the most.

    If you're open about having someone from the blog world be your FB friend, please give some thought about checking me out on FB. My addy is

  4. PREACH! Love it! Great advice. My mom was a stickler about thank you notes, which made me crazy when I was a kid, but its important, especially for something hand made!