Wednesday, January 12, 2011
The news from the country side, in Verona.
I'm not entirely out of the woods but the "storm" seems to be less intense than it was from Tuesday afternoon until now.
Tuesday afternoon, I ended up in Urgent Care having a battery of test done to determine what was causing the intense "discomfort", my words, "PAIN", my doctor's words that I was having.
Doubled over, my hand pressed against my left groin area I just wanted somebody to make it go away.
Young Dr. Brinn, who made me smile, through the cramping pain wore multicolored stripped socks with her comfortable shoes. She was thorough and determined to get to the cause. After two hours, blood tests, urine tests, x-rays she sent me to UW Hospitals for a CAT scan.
There after drinking three of the worst tasting lemon drinks I had my scan and waited for a call from the Dr.
I'm sure that when Dr. Brinn went to work that morning she knew she would be dealing with sick kids, broken bones but I suspect she didn't expect to have to tell a patient that she had a large mass on her right ovary. She did make an appointment for me to see a specialist the next morning and that's what Zeus and I did for the last four hours.
The consult was extremely hopeful and upbeat. They didn't see any cancer cell markers in the blood. They didn't see any typical cancer problems in the scan. They had no idea what this 13.8 x 12.1 x13.5 mass or tumor was but it was coming out. That was for certain.
Surgery is scheduled for January 31st. Healing thoughts and prayers are always welcome.
The cramping? Well, it seems when, and let me tell you when they brought up the scan on the computer and showed it moving through my body and you could see this mass get big and then Bigger and then HECK THE THINK LOOKED HUGE at it's center point. Looks like I swallowed a big water balloon. Anyway, the cramping seems to be a result of this mass shifting around and cutting off some blood flow. How it even has room to move is beyond me.
I wanted to look at the images more just to ask, what's this and what's that? I mean you can see everything inside of you. It's VERY, VERY COOL.
And, yes, I feel fine. Perfectly fine and thank goodness whatever this is DID SHIFT around because if I hadn't had the cramping and been in so much discomfort I never would have known that I have this thing inside of me.
AND, I'm hoping that when they remove it I lose, oh I don't know, maybe 10 pounds?
Well, I could hope it weighed that much, can't I?
Zeus and I went through all the worst case scenarios and can be expected. We hugged and stayed close to each other. We made jokes, some bad some pretty funny about the situation.
And, after four hours of Pre-Op tests and running around the hospital, we sat in the atrium of the hospital and ate a sandwich and sighed. Lots of bent up stress sighing. And, probably both of us will remember how good that sandwich tasted after finding out that everyone seemed to think this might not be as bad as we thought it might be.
I had a dear friend die of ovarian cancer. Almost all women seem to know that once you find out you have ovarian cancer it's to late. So, having any sort of mass, especially something that large just show up you think the worst.
It tends to put your life in perspective very, VERY QUICKLY.
I thought I was concentrating on my 19 Summers philosophy. I thought I was making each day count. I really thought I was making sure that I did what was REALLY IMPORTANT each day and SAYING WHAT WAS REALLY IMPORTANT to everyone, each day.
But, when you lay in bed and think about an actual deadline of amount of time you might have left most of that stuff, on the list, just falls by the wayside.
One thing I did realize is that I have a good life. I have a wonderful family and friends. I pretty much do what I enjoy doing and spending time with the people and things that are important to me. I don't have a long, TO DO BEFORE I DIE list.
This was a scare and honestly, until they take this tumor out I can only hope that it's not cancerous. I'll deal with that if and when I get that news. I absolutely know what's in my control and what isn't. My attitude is important because it's what is going to cut down my healing time.
It is what it is and I'm in good hands. I like my surgeon's smile and he has kind eyes and if probably helps that he's been doing surgeries like this for eight years.
:)Bea Who really is just going to take it one day, at a time. Honest.
Posted by Bea