Saturday, September 11, 2010

Franking at a new level.

George, George, no Georgie, the OTHER George, George Clooney, that is, how could you make such a BAD MOVIE?

Zeus and I paid $10.00 each, no senior discount at this theater, to watch The American.

A theater barely filled should have told us something.

The two couples that walked out after the loooooooooooooooooooooong nude scene might have been wearing red flag shirts but did we pay any attention?

No, we sat there wondering when the heck the film director would realize that the tunnel scene was out of focus and going onnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn and onnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn and onnnnnnnnnnnn and yes the little yellow dots and the white dot were interesting for about 15 seconds but COME ON FOLKS.

Zeus and I over coffee in our favorite French bakery have dissected the film and here's our report.

1. Somebody handed George Clooney a script and said, "Mr. Clooney you can film this in Italy and stay at home. You will bring money, badly needed into Italy with the filming."
2. Georgie said, "cool"
3. "And, Mr. Clooney, you do NOT have to smile the entire movie. That smile that the ladies love, we will fool them, huh? They will come to the movie expecting to see their favorite actor and his beeeeeeeeeeeautiful smile but we will not give it to them, heh?" (all said with your best Italian accent)

4. You will be stern, boring, gray, you will get to show off your body that you have been working on, you will have two sex scenes that won't show YOU but we will show long endless scenes of your fellow actors body parts. LOoooooooooooooooooong. sigh You will show how flexible you are by doing your exercises. You will be a cold hearted killer. You will be in a movie that doesn't explain a single thing to the fools that paid big money to see you. This is going to be sooooooooooo good for you career, heh?

So, what is FRANKING, you ask?

When Zeus's step father retired and took up inventing things. Not practical things, well I'm sure HE thought they would be practical. Those ideas are another story entirely. His name was Frank and over the years time that he spent doing something impractical or re inventing the wheel, we, in the family referred to it as "franking". Turning it into a family verb.

When I would catch on of my kids trying to get a job done in a sloppy manner or trying to do to many jobs at one time, I told them to "knock of the franking" and do it right.

One of the things that old George C. had to do, in the movie, was building a special kind of gun.
Now, even though this was in this time period, old George didn't use a computer, didn't order parts or the gun or even find a buyer. Noooooooooooo, he makes the gun from some parts he finds in some back alley little car doctor in a tiny little Italian town, on top of some mountain.
And, we get to spend a good amount of time, A GOODLY AMOUNT OF TIME watching G.C.

So, movie critics, especially YOU, Egbert, shame on you. I told Zeus from the ads on TV that it looked violent. Zeus countered with a quote from you that it was a good film.

Now, because of YOU, Zeus does NOT get to pick out the next five films, at least.

And, fooled me. You took me to a dark, stark, boring, crappy place and I'm probably not going to trust you again. At least not at $10.00 bucks a shot.

:)Bea Who has nothing more to say on that subject.

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