Last night I watched So You Think You Can Dance. Normally I pass on the audition part of the show. I find it difficult to watch people trying to do something and being laughed at for their efforts.
Yes, I know there are folks that just want their minutes of fame on TV and there are folks that might have some mental issues. What I would like is to see them culled from the process before it gets to the actual TV show. But, that wouldn't make "good" television.
What I have a real problem with is the people, that obviously do not have the technical background or the body shape expected, that try their hardest and yet the "judges", the responsible adults, laugh, snicker, roll their eyes or are just outright mean in their comments to them.
Yes, before you send me emails I know that it's tv land. I get it.
What bothers me is that it is sending a reinforcement message to people watching the show and that's millions of people that it's ok to snicker, to mock, to judge, to ridicule those that try.
"If they are going to try out then they deserve what they get."
In MY WORLD,as a judge, they would deserve a critique of their strengths, their weaknesses, what they need to work on and a big thanks for putting themselves OUT THERE and TRYING.
True, sometimes the judges did that with the person auditioning. Not enough times, in my book.
It's hard to watch someone LOVE to do something and know that they don't have the right body type, right muscle structure or coordination to achieve a certain level or degree of expertise.
So that brings me to my title of this posting.......balloon poppers.
People who feel it is their duty or right to give you the news.
The people who, for whatever reason just know what's in your best interests. Who don't want you to be hurt, waste your time, look bad or embarrass yourself or them.
They tell you that you aren't very good. That you don't have the skill. That you need to put your efforts in something that you can do or that will bring you an income. They bluntly tell you that your work is crap, your dancing difficult to watch, your singing painful to their ears, your reasoning strange and deluded, etc. They are the self appointed balloon poppers of the world and they just KNOW that they are doing the right thing. Saving you from disappointment, sadness, loss and ridicule.
The sad thing is that these people often start popping balloons very early in your life. They are often the people, the adults that tend to our needs and live in our world.
And, we believe them. Because we trust them. And, that sets off a train of beliefs that some of us take a long lifetime to eradicate. Message tapes that loop in our minds and tell us that we "can't, shouldn't, ought not to, be silly to, etc".
I know this is long and thank you for sticking with me. I just want to say, take a moment and think back to earlier times and what things you might have wanted to do or try. Make a list. Think about those things on your list.
Go down the list, one by one and ask yourself if you still want to be or do those things. Ask yourself why or why not.
Sit quietly and listen to the tape looping in your mind when you think that that list. What are you hearing? Whose voice is that really?
It's not important their WHY but it is important for you, to be clear in your mind, about why you didn't pursue that item on the list.
Did you expect their support to pay the way?
Did your achieving your goal depend on them being your cheerleaders?
If it's something you still are interested in is there another way to go about doing it.
Do you have to be perfect? Who are you doing it for?
Then ask yourself when you do it, does it bring you joy? Does it make you smile to yourself?
Work out a plan for tackling something on that list. Take a dance class, take a drawing class, barter for a singing teacher. Be creattive and find a way to do something on that list.
THEN you can decide for yourself if you don't want to pursue it. Make the reason you are stopping YOUR REASONS.