Maybe it's getting older.
Maybe it's my new camera.
Maybe I'm basically lazy but I find myself content to stay put.
I honestly never thought that I would even be in this state for more than a year. John was getting a master's degree in English and I thought we would be moving back to the East coast again. Because I worked for the University we got a deal on his enrolling into law school here. I didn't give it a thought. He would get his law degree and we would move back to the East coast.
I see some of you shaking your heads. I was 21. What did I know.
So we stayed.
We worked on our "starter" home.
We raised our family.
We moved to the "country" and built our dream house.
And, here I sit. Gazing out the window at a flock of Bluebirds sitting in my Plum tree. The prairie flowers going to seed. Watching the shadow of the Red Tailed Hawk, as it circles my yard.
This morning John told me that he had an urge to be at the ocean.
It's about this time of year that we drove from Wisconsin to Ocean City, Maryland, in a van full of teenagers and small children. We had two luggage carries strapped to the roof, the kids called them hamburgers.
I smiled, remembering how it was but in all honesty I don't want to travel anywhere right now.
For me, soaking up the colors of summer, the sounds, the smells, is a way of making sure that I can close my eyes in February and re-create this glorious day. That when I look out this window at white and gray I will see the bare Plum tree, full of ripe plums with Bluebirds almost the same color as the plums flying in and out of the tree. That the Black-eyed Susan's surrounding that little water carrying girl, Helga will be so bright that I have to squint to see them.
I love the ocean. I love our memories. I understand why he wants to go somewhere. But, I want to brew us some tea, take his hand and have him just sit on the back patio. Just sit and be with me and we'll laugh about the time the boogie boards flew off the top of the van across the Interstate or how many times somebody got stung by a jellyfish or why I never wear a two piece when I am body surfing. And, I'm sure John will smile then get a glazed look on his face as he remembers walking along the beach, at night, with me when I wore a beautiful white cotton dress and it rained and I was wearing green underwear.
Oh and speaking of things that probably shouldn't be posted on a blog I discovered how to remove a post without changing my comment section to high security. At the bottom of a comment is a tiny little garbage can. Never noticed it before but it's there. You click on that and it asks you if you want to discard the comment. Very easy to do.
So, my Asian buddies who have been posting naughty comments in the wee hours of the night, it's OVER. Go play somewhere else.