My late mother in law loved roses. She would have loved this climbing rose from my garden.
I felt my mother in law's presence in my life these last couple of days.
Monday night my husband came in from outside and said that he felt funny and his head felt very strange. He seemed unable to focus on anything. I asked him to smile and raise his arms up and asked him if he had any pain anywhere. He didn't and for an hour I watched him and he just didn't seem to be feeling any different. I put in him the car and drove him to the ER.
It was during the drive there that I could feel his mother's presence in the car. He reached over and patted my arm and told me not to rush, everything was just fine. That's exactly how and what my mother in law would have said to me. It sounded more like her than my husband.
At the ER I had my first clue that something serious was happening. The admissions clerk started to ask John questions and he couldn't answer them. I apparently had a deer in the headlight expression when I realized that he didn't have any answers and John glanced at me and then told the clerk he couldn't answer anything more because it was upsetting his wife.
I was more shocked. His memory seemed to be gone. What had happened? Was it a little stroke?
We were in the ER for four and half hours. They did a brain scan, ran a full blood test panel and the wonderful ER nurse and myself answered John's questions over and over and over. The same questions, in a loop over and over and over. He was relaxed but desperate to get information and retain it.
The short term memory was gone. COMPLETELY GONE.
Every once in a while John would bring up an old joke or ask a medical question. His long term memory was fine but he was unable to lay down any new short term memory and he couldn't remember anything from that day. Babette, the ER nurse and I would take turns answering his questions, listening to the same responses from him and reacting as if it was all new to us to.
An IV was put into his arm, sticky pieces of cardboard were stuck to his body for the testing and he was hooked up to a heart monitor.
He would turn his face to me and look at me and say, "This must be so hard on you, you must be so scared." In the midst of his own problems this wonderful man was worried about me. I told him that I was fine now that he was in good hands. The doctors and nurses of Meriter's ER are wonderful.
Of course, he looked at me every 5 seconds and said the same thing to me.
And, every five seconds I repeated back to him the same thing.
After about three hours his blood pressure was starting to rise. While waiting for a room, in the hospital, the staff left us alone. I watched the numbers on the monitor start to rise and took his hand and told him to breathe deeply, close his eyes and I would do some Reiki on him.
For 45 minutes I did.
After that he added a new comment into his question loop, "Have I had a sedative? I should feel anxious, I don't feel anxious, have I had a sedative, not that I want one because I don't feel anxious."
He spend the day in the hospital having tests done. His short term memory slowly came back bit by bit. He was told that it was Transient Global Amnesia. Something that the doctors said was common although I have never heard of it and neither has anybody that I've talked to.
He seems fine today, tired and so am I.
It was a scare that I hope we never have to experience again.
There doesn't seem to be a medical reason for it.
As we sat outside this morning holding hands we knew that it was just a reminder for us that life is so precious.